Question

está biografía me quedó bien escrita en inglés en tiempo pasado por favor me ayudan gracias.

Lucila de María Godoy Alcayaga was the baptismal name of Doña Gabriela Mistral. He was born on April 7, 1889, died in 1957, his childhood was spent in the town of the Elquí Valley, which was the current Coquimbo Region. After ten days, her parents Juan Gerónimo Godoy and Petronia Alcayaga took her from Vicuña to the nearby town of La Unión (today known as Pisco Elqui). He was very young, between three and nine years old, he lived in the town of Montegrande, considering it in his life as his hometown.
She refers to it as her beloved town and it was there that she said to give her burial.

Gabriela Mistral was a teacher and poet of Spanish descent from Sam Felix, as well as her mother, Petronia Alcayaga Rojas, was also of Spanish descent and her grandparents were from the Antofagasta region. They were known by the names of Gregorio Godoy and Isabela Villanueva, their mothers were Francisco Alcayaga Barraza and Lucia Rojas Miranda, who were descendants of families that owned the valley.
Gabriela Mistral aroused the poetic passion, she wrote and published Teitelboim in 1991, as well as being an assistant teacher in 1904 at the school that was called the lower company, which was located in La Cerna, as well as collaborating with the newspaper Serence El Coquimbo.
She continued writing in the following year in the and in the voice of Elquí then she meets at the same time with the professor and journalist Vernardo Ossadon who was a serence journalist who provided her with his personal library so that she could study her literary style.
In 1910, she combined her knowledge before the Normal School No. 1 of Santiago, obtaining her title as a state teacher. With whom he managed to exercise as a teenager in high school and this cost him his rivalry with his colleagues.​

Answer 1

Está Perfecto! Solo tienes un pequeño error en el uso de los pronombres,ya qué hay partes en las que usas he or his,cuando deberías usar she or her debido a que te refieres a una mujer. Después considero que hiciste un buen writing.